Well its been awhile, so this will be a long post.
I promised more information on PCOS this time, so I'll start with that.
PCOS - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
(the following information is taken from the Mayo Clinic website found here)
Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. The name of the condition comes from the appearance of the ovaries in most, but not all, women with the disorder — enlarged and containing numerous small cysts located along the outer edge of each ovary (polycystic appearance).
Infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods, excess hair growth, acne and obesity can all occur in women with polycystic ovary syndrome. Menstrual abnormality may signal the condition in adolescence, or PCOS may become apparent later following weight gain or difficulty becoming pregnant.
The exact cause of polycystic ovary syndrome is unknown. Women with polycystic ovary syndrome may have trouble becoming pregnant due to infrequent or lack of ovulation. Early diagnosis and treatment of polycystic ovary syndrome can help reduce the risk of long-term complications, such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease and stroke.
So thats it. Combined with my large family history of type 2 diabetes, its not a good place to be in, health wise.
After I found out, it took me a few days to process. R has wanted children since we got together. He wants a large family, and the thought of not being able to provide him with his dream shattered me. I cried, I felt broken. I couldnt quite come to terms with the diagnosis. It took a few weeks, and alot of researching to really decide I want to take control and not let this disease control me.
So that is what I've done. I have started Metformin. 500 mg twice a day until my body adjusts and then the dosage will increase. For the first week I was horribly affected. In the bathroom at least 50% of my day. Slowly I began to cut out the foods I knew triggered the side effects to be worse, and now they are mild, if at all, even if I splurge on a treat now and then.
I saw the dietitian, who has given me the Food Guide as a reference, and requested I keep a food journal until I return. Combined with walking everyday, if not exercising another way as well.
I've joined SoulCysters, which really has been my emotional lifesaver. Having other girls to talk to who have gone through the same thing, or are just beginning as I am has been amazing for my sanity. And reading the stories of people who have learned to manage, who have conceived and who have gotten their dreams has uplifted my spirits. I dont feel half as hopeless anymore, and I feel like maybe I can do this, I can overcome.
I've lost 7 lbs last weight check. Still a long way to go. But, its a start that I'm proud of.
Christmas is going to be hard, with all the goodies around, to not overdo it. But I'm not depriving myself of holiday treats, just going to attempt moderation and stay strict when I am at home.
My shopping is almost done, the tree is up, and R is finally getting excited. Him and H (his daughter) had been making Christmas plans and writing letters and cards the whole last weekend she was here.
Its looking up.
My other emotional hill to overcome at the moment, is the absolute fear I have at the thought of being pregnant. Now, dont get me wrong. I want to be a mother with everything I am. But, because of the miscarriage 6 years ago, I'm terrified that being pregnant will bring everything from that event back to me. The nightmares of the attack, his face, after I've worked so hard to forget it all.
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