Footprints

Let me begin with a quick story. Early November, I had gone to Walmart with my mother, and as usual wandered into the book section to browse. I picked up a book of daily quotes because the cover caught my eye, and it fell open to July 3rd.

Life has a funny way of sometimes leading us down the paths we least want to go.
But regardless of where you are today, it is still possible to gain wisdom from
the around you, and to grow, come the rain, the dew, the darkness and the light.

The moment I read that page, I knew I had to have this book. July 3rd was the date many years ago of the "event". The rape and miscarriage that shaped the rest of my teenage years and my adulthood. It spoke to me.

I spoke about this to R when I got home that night, unable to contain the amazement in my voice. That page was the only one in the book I read. The first page it fell open to. It was like a sign of some sort and I had to have this book.

Come Christmas morning, I unwrapped exactly that.

So. My posts will occassionally contain the daily quote or message from the day, and my thoughts surrounding it.

I feel odd, having such an urge, or magnetism towards a book. Its never happened to me before, but it was like an itch that needed to be scratched. That was not soothed until it was in my hands and taken home.

This book was my second favourite gift I recieved this Christmas. My first favourite being the charm and necklace I recieved from H.

The author, is of course talented as could be. She wrote the well known "Footprints" poem.

One night I dreamed a dream,
I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets
of footprints in the sand,one belonging to me
and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only one set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest
and saddest times of my life.
This always bothered me
and I questioned the Lord
about my dilemma.

“Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
But I'm aware that during the most troublesome
times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
I just don't understand why, when I needed You most,
You leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child,
I love you and will never leave you
never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints
it was then that I carried you.”

And have I mentioned I hate my apartment...

R had the day off today. So instead of relaxing, celebrating New Years day, we did some much needed after holiday cleaning. Trust me when I say much needed.

After this, I sent a wonderful New Years gift to my Super. A one page letter detailing only the beginning of the repairs this apartment needs. Now, dont get me wrong. I'm a handy girl. And I will do the majority of the small fixer upper projects around the house to keep myself busy while R is at work during the day or evening. I can fix a broken sink, clean out clogged drains, etc etc. But, well let me know you my list and you'll realize my frustration.

1. Upon scrubbing my bathtub today, I noticed the paint peeling back from a spot in the drywall beside it. Looking behind this peeling paint, I see wet drywall as well as black mold growing.
2. There is a hole in the bedroom wall.
3. Our living room window/wall surrounding it has many problems. There is a large crack above the window. The window sill, as well as the area of the ceiling above the window seems to have some sort of water damage. There is a hint of black mold. And a crack running from the window, to the floor.
4. Our fridge, freezes everything inside it. Then leaks all over the floor.
5. There is the beginning of a crack in the wall beside my stove, which also looks like its expanding.. weird.

Now. This is not the first time we've complained about any of this. But since they've recently changed the Super, we're hoping, HOPING, this guy has a little more care for the health and wellbeing of his tenants, and also JUST MAYBE the fact that all the cracks are starting to make me turn my heat up substantially.

Happy New Years.