Two Days

Christmas is in two days. TWO! And even though it will be at my mothers, I'm on a cleaning frenzied rant to get this place in order. Why? If we arent having any company at all, am I doing this? Because, for one, with my compulsiveness, and my anxiety, my moods are 100% improved when I'm in a clean organized environment. And two? I know H, R and I will be spoiled as always by my parents. If I dont get it all cleaned and organized now, when we come home on Saturday, I'll be exhausted and not want to do it. I love Christmas but its the last few days beforehand that stress me out.

Christmas? I love Christmas..

...spending hours selecting the perfect gift for someone, and wrapping them beautifully. Watching their face and knowing I could provide even a little piece of joy.

... the smell of Christmas. Candy canes, and baked goods. Turkey, and pine trees.

...waking up Christmas morning and just knowing I have nothing but time to spend with family that day.

...the Santa Claus parade, as freezing as I always am.

...getting new pyjamas just to wear for the holiday

...decorating my tree and apartment. There is nothing more beautiful than a Christmas tree all decorated and lit up.

...Christmas lights!

...sugar cookies

I love the entire holiday season. Seeing my family, enjoying them.

Too much time is spent worrying about everything else all year. I live close to both my parents, as well as my siblings. However seeing them Christmas is so much better than our weekly visits. We're not talking and worrying about finances, upcoming events, planning for things or turmoil. We're actually enjoying one anothers company, without the stress.

Sigh. I love Christmas.

I took another HPT. Negative, like I suspected. Now what is my pleading for? As much as I would LOVE for AF to come so I can actually get on an ovulating, normal cycle, I really would not like to be PMS-y and insane during Christmas.